I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it’s really fuckin’ annoying.
The semester is finally over! I’m stressless and relieved and all those other words that are synonymous with happy. My brain can settle from the incursion of economic equations and useless formulas. Now, onto CHRISTMAS! Bring on the snow Nature.
I’m getting really tired of being so lonely. It’s getting around that time when you want someone to be with, just to share the wonderful winter activities with. I think it would just be nice to snuggle with someone, to hold hands with, to do stupid shit with. I just want to stop feeling so pathetic that I can’t even find a guy or even talk to one that I could remotely have any liking towards. Ughh, I’m so pathetic. I just wish something new happened. I wish I was more assertive, more outgoing, more willing to put myself out there. But look how that turned out before. Not good, might I say. I just feel like doing cute things with a cute boy. Bring me him?
You were in your butcher’s lab coat walking out of Stop & Shop. I don’t know why, but I was really, really attracted to you.
I’m stuck and I keep erasing what I wrote. Nothing is ever as good. I will grow up to be a spinster old lady and have a bajillion cats and dogs. I won’t have anyone to call my own. No warm body to cuddle up to when I’m sad and cold. No one to hug me when I need it most. No excited cries when I share good news. There’s none of that. But whatever.
I don’t know why you keep talking to me the way you do, especially since you already have a girlfriend. It’s not appropriate the way you talk to me. Stop acting like you’re single and love her. Stop fucking this up for yourself. We’re just friends. Don’t do that to me.
Sometimes, I wish that none of this happened the way that it did. I wish I could just leave, take a one-way trip to the end of the earth. It doesn’t matter. As long as I don’t have to go through with this monotony routine that has been so well ingrained into my brain. But, that will never happen. I can never leave.
On an unrelated note, you are so fuckin’ cute. Why did you have to be short and skinny? I can’t stay away from your type.